Kayden, a black trans advocate/educator and operator of a trans fertility and birth workshop.
The first time I’ve listened to Kayden’s journey, I realized I had no idea… Honestly, I never thought that there could be so many struggles on top of the struggles we face within our health care system. Kayden’s story opened my eyes to experiences that will shape my doula journey forever.
4 things that went wrong within Kayden’s Birth Experience:
They tested him for everything except pregnancy: Kayden felt uncomfortable and knew that it was something wrong. He was going to the doctor and was tested for multiple issues. Kayden found out he was pregnant on his own. His doctor never thought to give him a pregnancy test. The doctor knew he was having unprotected sex and never thought to test him for pregnancy. Kayden was 5 1/2 months pregnant when he took a pregnancy test.
During his visits to the doctor, Kayden went through so many emotional and unnecessary obstacles. They even offered him an abortion instead of giving him the care he deserved.
Constant misgendering is straight disrespectful: There was nothing in place to let the medical staff know he was trans. They ask so many questions about our medical history. It’s strange for this to not be included and documented.
Kayden repeatedly told his providers that he was trans and not the wrong person. Can you imagine going to the doctors and having someone misgender you? Questioning you every single time they walk in the door? Having to correct them constantly.
The birth students: If you’ve ever had experience with birth, you know they sometimes bring students in to learn from your birth experience. I once had a student midwife attend my home birth, but Kayden had a crowd of people wanting to experience a trans birth experience. How is this even fair for a birthing person? People that you don’t know looking at parts that are private to you.
Do you wonder why they don’t ASK your permission in the first place?
“I wish I knew about doulas?” Kayden explained he wished he knew about birth workers before having his two daughters. So many birth workers are protecting the birth space. We are a resource center for people who need us. Now, Kayden is educating our community and offers resources for birth workers and families around the world.
We can start by advocating for trans people by using inclusive language. Hearing trans birth stories should be a requirement for birth workers. You can find information for training, IG, Youtube here.
What do you think about his story? Did you take his workshop? How can we work to be inclusive within birthing spaces?
I am so angry for him and his experience. It is unacceptable and unfortunately not shocking..we have to do so much better to protect Black Trans individuals.