Are you a new birth worker still struggling to get and juggle clients? Or maybe you are a seasoned birth worker suffering from burnout and ready to give it all up? Whichever stage you are at, this article about boundaries for birth workers is for you.
Doctors and medical providers are usually seen as companies, not individuals. This gives them the flexibility to avoid misunderstanding. Unfortunately, the same cannot be said about birth workers, who, in many cases, are privately hired by the client on the side and not the hospital.
Being a part of this community has allowed us to see what could happen. We have seen countless birth nerds post about some of the relationship strains birth workers might face if they are unaware.
As a small business in the birth field, our work is personal. We provide continuous emotional, physical, and evidence base support to pregnant people before, during, and even after childbirth.
Because this job is so personal and rewarding, it often attracts people who are overgiving. We have seen doulas who are at the beck and call of their clients 24 hours a day every day, even when it’s unnecessary. We’ve also seen others giving massive discounts to their clients or waiving the fee because they empathized with their situation.
But as good as this may be, it’s not sustainable. Without healthy boundaries, your birth worker business is doomed to fail from the start.
Lack of Boundaries Will Ruin the Business
Here’s a scenario that will put everything into perspective. You have done well for yourself and secured a couple of clients, say 3 to 5. Each client has phone access to you 24 hours a day, and they need you to run to their side every time they call. I’ve had clients call as late as 11 pm just to ask about a “husband stitch”.
Two things will happen in this scenario: You will burn out sooner than later because of overworking and dealing with other people’s needs and emotions every second of your life. Two, you will drop the ball somewhere because it’s impossible to maintain overworking yourself. Eventually, your family feels neglected, you snap at your support system because of fatigue, and put a strain on your supportive community.
Interestingly, you don’t need three or five clients to run you down to the ground if there are no boundaries. Just one will be enough. But the worst thing about this is that your family and friends will also suffer neglect because you are always with clients.
This is why doula work has such a high turnover, despite being so rewarding and life-changing. The fatigue, burnout, and feeling like you are always failing someone eventually takes a toll on someone, and they end up quitting.
But it doesn’t have to get this bad; that is where boundaries come in.
How to Implement Healthy Boundaries for Birth Workers
As a birth worker, you have to establish your practice as a business. Business owners have checks and balances that ensure clients are well taken care of without affecting the business negatively. This business owner mindset will form the basis for setting boundaries.
Have a Contract
A business contract is a non-revocable agreement between a business and a client. It outlines the scope of services offered, time and expectations. In other words, you have to detail the services you offer and your work hours.
For most doulas, Sundays are an off day, so clients should not call unless they are in labor or it’s a real emergency. Your nights should also be included in off hours so you can spend quality, uninterrupted time with family or yourself. Include everything you need in the contract to avoid any misunderstandings in the future. Read your contracts with your clients before signing.
Delegate Administration
Remember when we said we have seen doulas wave fees and give unbelievable discounts to clients? This is because most doulas are givers and empaths who will give at their expense. But again, birth education is a business, and you must be compensated fairly.
To avoid this, delegate the admin work to another firm or automate it to a CRM. Give out things like invoicing, taxes, and marketing so you can focus on patient care alone. Because you are not in charge of payments, clients will not discuss discounts and such things with you.
Communicate
The most important thing we learned from Crystal is that you must verbally read the contract to your client to ensure they understand. Unfortunately, many people sign on the dotted line without reading.
People also have unrealistic expectations of their doulas, but they understand when you explain. For instance, it’s wise to explain to a client that you can’t take care of them if you are burned out, hungry, and sleep-deprived. Explain that it’s important for you to be available when active labor is progressing. Let them know how important it is for you to rest during the early stage of labor.
Communicate about your need but most importantly, communicate about what will happen when your services come to an end. Will the family be okay? How long do they need you after birth? Do they have a support system during postpartum? How can you help after the contract is closed?
Connect the family to services in your community that will support them long after their time with you. Groups for new moms, for instance, are a great support system.
Connect with Other Birth Workers
Finally, you must connect with other birth workers in your community to work together. As we said, it’s impossible to be everywhere all the time. Sometimes you have two people giving birth on the same day. In such instances, having another birth worker standing in for you comes in handy.
The relationships you form with other birth educators will also help you deal with the challenges in this line of work. As a business owner, you ask for advice on how to deal with particular issues. Most often than not, the older workers have already seen everything.
Establishing healthy boundaries as a birth worker feels strange if you don’t see yourself as a business owner. But you are, and you need to run your business healthily. Many clients will push back the boundaries from time to time, so you need to remind them and yourself before you cross the line again. These simple steps have helped seasoned birth educators last for years without giving up and will help you too.